The Baby Headache

A couple returned early from a night out to find their teenage daughter having sex with her boyfriend on the couch. After the particularly awkward moments passed and the boy went home, the woman sat her daughter down for a "long talk." She got to the part about using "protection" and the girl said, "Don't worry mom, I've been taking your birth-control pills." The woman asked her how come she'd never noticed any missing and the daughter said "I replace them with baby-aspirin."

Urban Legend

The Blind Date

The man who worked in the drugstore was getting tired of watching the nervous teenager wander around the store so he asked him if he could help him. The boy stammered a little and the druggist pulled some condoms from behind the counter and asked if that was what he was looking for. The teenagers said it was. The amused man told the boy not to worry, he was sure he'd do fine. He gave him some words of encouragement, wished him luck and told him with a wink, "I'm counting on you to become a regular customer." That evening as the young man approached the door of his date's house he was thankful for the "pep-talk" the man in the drugstore had given him, his confidence quickly disappeared when he rang the bell and his date's father, the druggist, answered the door.

The Blind Man

An attractive young woman was taking a shower one day and the doorbell started ringing. She jumped out to get it, but couldn't find a towel to wrap herself in. As she headed for the bedroom to grab something, she yelled "Who's there?" The voice called out, "It's the blind man." The woman guessed he wanted to sell some pencils or something and stopped, realizing she didn't have to get any of her clothes wet, he couldn't see her anyway. When she opened the door a wide-eyed man in gray coveralls asked her "Uh, where do you want me to hang your blinds?"

The Costume Party

A man and his wife were supposed to go to a costume party together one halloween, but when the time came to go the woman told him to go on without her, she had a terrible headache. The man reluctantly did, and the suspicious wife decided to see just how faithful her man really was. She put on a different costume and went to the party. When she got there she saw her husband dancing with a young girl in a sexy costume, even more suspicious, she decided to really put him to the test. She danced with him and whispered they should sneak into a bedroom. She insisted they leave the masks on and had sex with him, then fuming, she ran home to wait for his return. When he got there she innocently asked if he'd had fun. He told her he hadn't, after a few minutes he and some guys had went across the street to play poker, he added "The guy who borrowed my costume said he had a hell of a time, though!"

Filmed in the Act

A couple were celebrating an anniversary and had rented the exact same room they had stayed in on their honeymoon. When they got there it was pretty much the same except for a little wear and tear, it had the round bed and mirrors on the ceiling just like their previous visit. They had added a little machine that would allow you to watch porno movies on the TV though, and as his wife "slipped into something more comfortable," the man decided to check it out. A few minutes into the second scene he realized it had been filmed in the room they were staying in, and had stayed in during their honeymoon. Then he realized it was their honeymoon.

Love Maggots

A young lady went to see her gynocologyst because of a constant itching in her privates over the last couple of days. She'd never had sex with anyone but her current partner, but was suspicious and fearful that perhaps he had "given" her something. After the doctor examines her he tells her that he will have to report this to the police. The doctor explains that she has maggots inside her vagina and the only way that can happen is if she or her partner is having sex with dead people. She looks at the doctor with horror and whispers "My boyfriend works in a morgue!"

The Milkman

A man was informed the problem with his septic system was all the condoms being flushed down the toilet. This causes him to become upset because he and his wife don't use condoms. He confronts her and she admits an affair with the milkman. The next morning he hides and waits for him to arrive, and shoots him as he delivers the milk. The woman is relieved to discover it had been her lover's day off, she'd never met the dead milkman.

The Late Night

A man had stayed out too late again and was afraid his wife would be angry. On the way home he decided he'd sneak in the bedroom window and ravish her before she had a chance to be angry or notice the time. All went as planned and afterward he went downstairs to get a snack from the kitchen and saw his wife on the couch in the livingroom. "What the Hell are you doing down here?" he cried. "Sssssh, your mother's sleeping upstairs in our bed!" - Thanks to Joanna Johnson

The Sex-Crazed Sheriff

The sheriff of a small college town took his new deputy to a "make-out spot" where the students often went "camping" for a romantic evening. The deputy stuck his head in the tent and told them they were in alot of trouble and he wondered what their parents were going to think about this. The boy offered to pay a fine or whatever to get out of this, but the deputy told him there was only one way of getting out of this jam and looked lecherously at the young half-naked girl. After taking advantage of the young and obviously underage girl, he stepped out and the sheriff told him with a grin, "It works every time." The sheriff crawled into the tent unzipping his pants eagerly and told the girl it would be over in a minute when he looked at her face and recognized his fifteen year-old daughter.

Kinky Superhero

After hearing screams from a hotel room, a man broke in and found a woman tied to a bed naked. Her boyfriend was unconscious on the floor, dressed as a superhero. He'd hit his head during the sex-game and left her helpless.

see Gerald's Game by Stephen King

Another Kinky Superhero

A man is tied up and seduced by a woman, afterwards a man dressed as a superhero comes out and sodomizes him.

The Winning Team

A woman was doing laundry in the basement of her apartment building when she noticed how dirty the robe she's wearing is. It's early morning and no one was around so she just threw it in with the rest. As she stands there naked, she notices that the moisture from the ceiling is dripping on her head. She see's a child's football-helmet in the corner and puts it on to keep the dirty water from getting in her hair. Just then a man walks in to read the meter in the room, he sees her and without batting an eye he says: "Lady, I don't know what you're playin', but I hope your team wins!"