The Cement Cadillac

A cement-truck driver had an order to deliver a load of wet cement just around the block from his house one day and he decided to stop by and have coffee with his beautiful wife. When he got there he saw a shiney new cadillac parked in his spot. Feeling a little suspicious he peeked in the window and saw her having coffee with some handsome rich guy. Without a pause he got in his truck and filled the caddy with his leftover cement. His wife ran out of the house and asked him why he'd just destroyed the new car she'd just had delivered for him.

Cruise Control

An elderly couple had just purchased a brand-new RV and headed off across the country. The old man explained to his wife that the salesman had showed him how to use the vehicle's "auto-pilot", he said that all he had to do was press the button marked "cruise" and relax. So the old man set his cruise control and went in the back for a nap. He had just gotten comfortable when the RV went off the cliff.

The Deal

There's a little old lady whose son bought himself a brand new car before being sent to Vietnam. He gets killed and the car sits in her garage covered up for the next twenty years until she finally brings herself to sell it. She places an ad in the local paper selling the car for the same amount her son paid for it, $2000. When a potential buyer shows up to look at it he discovers it is a 1963 Corvette Stingray in mint condition. - Thanks to Jason Delzer

No Radio

A man who was tired of having his vehicles broken into specifically asked for no radio when he bought his new car. He put a sign in the windshield that said in large letters: "NO RADIO". One day he returned to it to find the windshield broken anyway. Beside his sign he found a note that read: "Just checking."

- Sometimes the note says "No Windshield" or "Get one".

The Rattle

A man purchased a brand new luxory sedan, loaded with extras and very expensive. The car was perfect except for a persistant, annoying rattle. He took the car back to the dealer and had every part of it checked and tightened, but the rattle continued. Finally he had the car completely dismantled and inside one of the door panels they found the source of the rattle, it was several nuts and bolts tied to a string with a note attached. The note read: "I GUESS YOU FINALLY FOUND THE RATTLE."

Sell the Car

A man runs off with a little cutie and sends his wife a Dear Jane letter telling him he's not coming back and he wants a divorce. He tells his wife to sell his Porsche and send him half the proceeds. She runs an ad "Porsche for Sale, $20" and sends him his check for $10. -Thanks to Lisa Johnson

The Smashed VW

A couple had been awakened by the sound of a crash on the edge of their property one night. They looked out and saw two eighteen-wheelers had been in a head on collision and immediately called 911. The policeman told them both drivers had been killed on impact and asked if the trucks could stay there until the investigation was over. The couple agreed. A week later the angry homeowner called the policeman and demanded the wrecks be taken away immediately, when the officer arrived with the tow-truck he understood why. Coming from the crash was to most horrible stench he'd ever encountered. When they pulled the trucks apart they found the cause of the smell, in between the trucks was a VW Beetle, smashed flat with three people inside.

The 10 Kilo Gas Tank

A guy looking for a used SUV finds a Lincoln Navigator at a police auction that was seized from a convicted drug dealer. He buys it, but when he fills the gas tank, it doesnt fill all the way. So he takes the car to a shop and the mechanic disassembles the gas tank and finds 10 kilograms of packaged cocaine at the bottom. -Thanks to Brett Davis

Threading the Needle

Three young men were out riding their motorcycles and the "daredevil" among them pulled way ahead. Deciding to put a scare into them he turned around and planned on riding right between them with his headlight off. He saw them coming and mustered as much speed as he could as they approached, unfortanately the two headlights he raced between belonged to a large truck.

The Unstealable Car

A man's biggest fear was that his new sportscar would be stolen and he went to great lengths to insure that didn't happen. Each night he backed the car carefully into the garage, chained the frame to the floor, set the alarm and locked the garage. One morning he entered the garage and was shocked to discover the car was exactly as he always left it, except it had been turned around! On the seat was a note, it read: "WHEN WE WANT IT, WE'LL COME GET IT."

The Wonder Car

An old lady who'd recently bought a new car returned it to the dealer when after driving over 300 miles the gas tank still read "full". The dealer gave her fifty thousand dollars and her choice of any car on the lot in exchange for the experimental car he'd accidentally sold her.