A student at Oxford was sitting an exam when he called a supervisor and asked for his mug of ale and a plate of scones. Turns out there's rules dating back to medieval times - a few which were never repealed. The ale and scones are duly brought. At his next exam, he's refused entry because he's not carrying his sword.

Submitted by Matthew Sorell

A college student was taking a two-question essay test, but he only knew the second answer. In his essay book he faked the end of the first answer then wrote a very good answer to the second question. Not only did the professor give him an A, but he apologized for losing the non-existant first blue-book.

A student consults a doctor at the campus medical center after experiencing continual soreness in his rectum. The doctor examines the student and diagnoses the cause of the pain as homosexual activity, even though the student swears he's straight and has never engaged in such activity. The student later discovers that his gay roommate has been secretly anesthetizing and sodomizing him at night.

A college student was taking an essay test where he didn't know any of the answers, so in the exam-book he wrote a letter to his mom telling her how well he'd done on the essay test, and how much he enjoyed the class and the professor's lectures. He then handed it in. After class he looked up the answers wrote them in another blue book and mailed it to his mother. When the professor discovered his "mistake" he agreed to accept the mailed exam as soon as the boy's mother could mail it back.

Students at a religious institute enrolled in a class on the life of Jesus arrive at their classroom to take the final exam and find a notice informing them that the test will be given in another building on the other side of the campus. As the students rush across campus to the new room, each is accosted by a homeless man asking for help. None of the students stop, anxious to arrive on time for the exam.

The instructor is waiting for the students when they finally reach the classroom. He explains to them that the beggar was an actor, planted by him to test their reactions. Because the students demonstrated that they hadn't learned anything by studying the life of Jesus, they all failed the exam.

Legend has it that during a biology class/lab the students in one class were asked to take swabs of one parner's mouth and identify the types of cells (i.e. skin cells, blood, bacteria etc). One male/female team was having some trouble identifying a cell that they found in the girl's mouth. After looking through all their notes, they gave up and called the lab assistant over. He looked in the microscope and anounced that it was a sperm cell.

A philosophy professor gives a final exam consisting entirely of a single word: "Why?" One student answers "Why not?" and receives an A.

A philosophy professor gives a final exam consisting entirely of a single word: "Why?" One student answers "Why not?" and receives an A.

A professor announces that the upcoming final examination is open-book and students may use "anything they can carry into the classroom." The day of the exam the professor is surprised to see one of his students carrying a grad student in on his back.

A student in a very large auditorium-class didn't stop working on his exam when the professor called "time". When he went up to turn it in, the professor said he needen't bother, he'd already failed. The student looked at the large stack of exams on the desk and asked "Do you know who I am?" angrily. The professor replied that he didn't, and the student stuck his exam in the middle of the stack and said, "Good."

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body." For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing,"! he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it. When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention."

submitted by NOTalone

An extremely stressed student realized he couldn't take anymore during a particularly difficult exam. He put the ends of each of his #2 pencils up his nostrils and slams his face into the desk.

For the final exam in a philosophy class, the professor took his chair and placed it on top of his desk. He gives each student a blank piece of paper and says, "Prove to me that this chair does not exist". Most papers handed in were essays explaining how nothing was real or references to ancient philosphers. The only paper to receive an A was just two words long:
"What chair?"

A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her with an ax leaving her mentally retarded.

A student was offered a chance to buy a term paper for a class that was taught by a notoriously tough professor. The paper had originally been given a B-, but each time it had been re-used the grade had gotten better until it eventually got an A. The student asked the guy selling it to him, what if the professor finally recognizes it, the guy replied don't worry, look at the comment I got on it last year, it read: "I've read this paper four times now...and I like it better each time!"

A student in a marine biology class turns in a term paper that includes a lavishly-drawn illustration of a whale and receives an A. The next year a different student copies the paper, submits it, and also receives an A. The third student to hand in the same paper, however, neglects to include the drawing of the whale and receives only a B from the professor, with his written comment, "I liked it better with the whale."

A student stops by the office of one of his instructors and finds that the professor has stepped out for a moment, leaving an unguarded stack of the next day's final examinations on his desk. The student quickly steals one of the exams and disappears. Before issuing the exam, however, the professor counts them and notices that one is missing. He cuts one half-inch off the bottom of every exam prior to distributing them to the class, then fails the student who turns in a test paper longer than the rest.

A student who belonged to a fraternity that kept a file of members' papers and exams came across a several-year-old term paper to copy and resubmit. Weeks later it was returned with an A on it, and a note that read: "When I wrote this I only got a C, I thought it deserved much better."

A professor who was famous for his creative exam questions handed out the final exam to his students. The exam had only one question, "What is Courage?" The only A given on that particular exam was to a quiet young man who wrote simply: "This is."

A professor who was famous for his creative exam questions handed out the final exam to his students. The exam had only one question, "What is Courage?" The only A given on that particular exam was to a quiet young man who wrote simply: "This is."

A professor who was famous for his creative exam questions handed out the final exam to his students. The exam had only one question, "What is Courage?" The only A given on that particular exam was to a quiet young man who wrote simply: "This is."

A student arrived late for math class and found two problems written on the chalkboard. Assuming they're homework problems, he jots them down in his notebook and works on the equations over the next few days before turning his solutions in to the instructor. Several weeks later, the professor turns up at the student's door with the student's work written up for publication. The two problems were not a homework assignment; they were problems previously thought to be unsolvable that the instructor had used as examples in his lecture that day.

~This is actually true, the young mathmatician was George B Dantzig of Stanford University when he was a student at University of California, Berkely.
~ Seen in Good Will Hunting

When a student was given his exam in his Orinthology class, he looked at it and realized he had no hope of passing. It consisted only of identifying birds by pictures of their feet. The student decided not to waste his time and got up to leave, throwing his exam in the trash as he went by. The Professor angrily asked him what his name was and the young man pointed at his feet and said, "You tell me, Prof."