A man making a late-night stop at a convenience store came out and found his car had been stolen. The next day the owner of the convenience store calls him and tells him to come back right away. When he gets there he finds his car is back in the exact space it had been stolen from, on the dash in a note that says "Sorry for any inconvenience, my wife was having a baby and I had to take her to the hospital." Relieved but annoyed, the man phones the police to tell them then returns home.

When he gets there he finds that everything in his home has been stolen. On the table is a note that says, "Sorry for any inconvenience, but I have to put my kids through college, don't I?"

A zero-population-growth terrorism group called "No More" has been setting up little guillotines under the rims of public toilet seats. When a pressure sensor senses someone sitting on the toilet a razor-sharp blade slashes across the front half of the toilet with the purpose of damaging/removing the victims testicles.

A terrorist didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Confused as to what it was, he opened it and was blown to bits.

For initiation prospective gang-members drive around at night with their headlights off, and kill the first person who flashes his lights to warn them.

As an initiation into a street gang, potential members grab people out of shopping plazas, gift-wrap them from head to toe, then lock them in their trunks.

A lady looked out her window one morning to discover her lawn gnomes were missing. She called the police and they came and looked around, but told her not to expect much. A few days later she got a postcard in the mail from Hawaii that read: "We decided to take a vacation. Having a wonderful time, wish you were here. The Gnomes." Two weeks later she answered the doorbell to find the gnomes standing on the porch.

A young couple moved into a part of town where most of their neighbors were of Italian descent. One day they came home and found they had been robbed. They went to ask their neighbor, an older Italian man, if he'd seen anything. He told them he didn't, but not to call the police yet. He seemed to know what he was talking about, and they didn't want to offend him, so they decided to wait until evening to report it. A couple hours later there was a knock at the door, and all of their stolen belongings were sitting neatly at the steps.

Three young men were spending the weekend partying in a popular tourist-town in Mexico. One of the men left the bar with an attractive lady, saying he'd see the guys the next day. The next evening the other men began to worry about their friend, and went to his room to check on him. After breaking in they found him on the bed, unconscious and bleeding. They found a fresh surgical closure on his back and called for an ambulance. At the hospital they were shocked to discover one of his kidneys had been removed.

This one takes place in alot of towns, mostly in South America, but sometimes as close as New York. The doctor sometimes comments that it happens all the time, they sell the organs on the black market. The victims often wake up in a bathtub full of ice. Another variation very common in third-world countries is that it's American corporations taking the organs from the world's poor for Americans in need. Seems far fetched until you consider that we do ethically similar things all the time.

A young woman was waiting for her husband outside a restaurant one evening in a popular Mexican tourist-town when a police officer mistook her for a prostitute. Just as he finished writing up her fine her husband arrived and found out what was going on. The policeman said he was sorry, but they'd have to pay the fine or appear in court. Not wanting alot of trouble, the man simply bought his wife a license to practice prostitution in the city, and they were on their way.

Some Policemen were interrogating an unintelligent but particularly stubborn suspect one day when one of them had a bright idea. He wheeled in a copy machine with a metal mixing-bowl wired to it, and said "If you're telling the truth, you won't mind taking a little lie-detector test." Worried, but seeing no alternative but giving it a try, the suspect agreed. Each time the suspect gave an answer that was obviously a lie, the policeman made a copy of the sheet he'd already put in the copier that said: "LIE". Realizing he couldn't fool the machine, the criminal eventually gave in, confessing and telling the officers all they needed to know.

Used in an episode of NYPD Blue

A woman in a mall parking-lot was approached by someone trying to sell an expensive bottle of perfume for only eight dollars. The salesperson insisted she smell the perfume and she did. A couple hours later she awakened to find her car and all of her belongings had been taken, the bottle had been filled with ether.

A young man and his date were trying to watch a movie at the local drive-in, but they kept being disturbed by a car-load of delinquents next to them. Eventually the boy got up the nerve to ask them to calm down. The delinquents approached them and began shaking the car and trying to open the doors, yelling threats at the young man and his date. Realizing his error the young man started the engine and sped off as quickly as he could. When he got home he noticed there were three severed fingers jammed behind his rear bumper.

As an initiation into a street gang, potential members hide under peoples cars at night, and when the unsuspecting owners start to get in, they slash their ankles and when they fall they steal a shoe for proof.

A couple arrived back home to the US from a trip to South America. When they got off the plane, the wife insisted her husband drag the luggage because she was holding the baby. As they were exiting the airport, they were greeted by the FBI. They handcuffed the husband, took the baby from the wife, and cuffed her also. When unwrapping the baby from it's blanket, they saw it was dead. It had been hollowed so that the couple could easily smuggle cocaine inside it.

An elderly lady with a cart full of groceries kept staring at a young man in the checkout line. The man noticed and asked if something was wrong. The lady began to cry and explained that he looked so much like her only son, who was killed in Vietnam. She then asked him for a favor. She told him that if he'd say "goodbye, mom" when she waved to him, it would cheer her up. Feeling sorry for her, he agrees to this. When he reaches the cashier with his few items, his bill is enormous. The cashier explained that his mother said he'd be paying for her groceries today as well. The cashier, having heard him say goodbye to the old lady, ignored his protests.

Some delinquents pulled up to a tollbooth and asked how much it was, the toll-keeper replied and as he reached out his hand to receive the money, the driver said "What a rip-off! And speaking of rip-offs!" and slapped a handcuff on his wrist. As the car sped off the toll-keeper saw the cuff was tied to a rope that was being pulled out of the back window of the car. Panicking, he tried in vain to remove the cuff before the rope ran out of slack and tore off his arm. Within a few seconds the end of the rope fell harmlessly out the window of the car.

A man was jogging through the park one day when another jogger lightly bumped him and excused himself. A little annoyed, the jogger noticed his wallet was missing. He immediately began chasing the jogging pickpocket and when he caught up he tackled him yelling "Give me that billfold!" The frightened robber obliged and quickly ran off.

When the jogger got home his wife asked if he'd stopped at the store. Anxious to tell his story he said he hadn't, but he had a good excuse. Before he finished his wife said: "I know, you left your billfold on the dresser."

A salesman driving along the highway one day saw a hitcher and decided picking him up would be a good way to relieve his boredom. After he did, he immediatley regretted it, the man was large and menacing, and his questions about the salesman's business quickly made him nervous. Ahead he saw another hitchhiker and decided his best bet was to pick this one up too, especially since this one was well dressed and very clean-cut. As soon as the second hitcher got in the back seat he pointed a gun at the two men in the front and demanded their valuables.

The front-seat passenger swung his arm back and smashed the robber in the head with his elbow, knocking him unconscious. Before the salesman could even say anything, the large man took the gun and all the unconscious robber's possessions and pushed him back out of the car. As he turned to the salesman, gun in hand, the salesman begged him not to hurt him, he'd do whatever the large man wanted. The large hitchhiker said: "Relax buddy, I'm not gonna rob you, it's my day off."

A man who worked in a large factory was stopped on his way out every night as he wheeled out a wheelbarrow full of straw. Each night the suspicious security guard would sift through the straw to make sure the employee wasn't stealing, each night he found nothing but straw. Years later the man was retiring and as he left the guard said that he knew he was stealing something all these years, what was it. The retiree answered "wheelbarrows."

A guy was in court charged with punching another guy during an arguement in a pub. The judge ordered the assailant to pay a fine of £50 to the victim. The man pulled out his cheque book, scribbled out a cheque for £100, hands it to the victim, smacks him in the mouth a second time and says "Bargain your honour, worth every penny!" - Smudge